A pretty straightforward insight came as I was potty training Dane last week. This child is three, and after months of trying with accidents galore and no progress, I decided to put my foot down. And before I tell this story, let me say that I had been patient up to this point-VERY patient. Now I meant business. I came up with a plan to stay in the bathroom with Dane until it actually happened. We would not make any plans with friends, we would not head out to the park. Dane and I would get real cozy in that bathroom—all for the greater good of growing independence! Blake could tend to Evy and Grant. My sole focus would be to help Dane achieve this goal.
Although brilliant in my mind, the little guy was extremely frustrated by this plan. And the thing is, he is such a sweet little spirit, but gosh darn it—he was actually afraid to sit down on that potty and just let it happen. “Please buddy,” I begged, “please just let it come out.” “it’s so easy!” evy would say, “all you have to do is just stand there and shoot!” I tried the cheerio in the toilet bowl. I tried bribery. We read every potty book known to man in that bathroom. Blake even tried to jokingly lighten the mood, referring to the whole thing as a hostage situation. “ Just let the pee go. Come out with your hands washed, and no one gets hurt,”
But NOTHING worked. Dane continued to hold it throughout the day—and after hours of holding it, he was in tears and I was angry. I was impatient. I was almost in tears myself. My whole day down the drain with nothing to show for it.
But all was not lost. I calmly said a little prayer and I felt prompted to give Dane a big hug. To shower him with love and just forget it for the day. Not easy to do when you are a very type a personality; not when you want so badly to accomplish a goal you’ve set.
But I did just that. We both left the bathroom-- I told him eventually he would be able to use the big boy potty… but until then, I’d be happy to keep cleaning up the accidents. Pressure off, lots of love and happiness. Of course he had an accident shortly thereafter.
But you know, before the night was through, he had learned to use the big boy potty. And not only that… he hasn’t had an accident since that day. And that was a week ago!
The insight? Sometimes I forget that God knows Dane much better than I do and that I should ask for His help more often as I attempt to teach my children both the temporal and spiritual lessons they need to know in this life. It’s much easier that way. Next time I think up a brilliant plan, I think I might run it by Him first.
