Target is by far Evelyn’s favorite store. It’s really the only store we visit with a wide selection of toys, videos, clothing, etc. We rarely go to the mall or any other type of typical shopping setting. So this past Saturday as we did our monthly visit, Evy was delighted to stroll through the Valentine’s Day section. She did not have any money saved this visit, as she typically does, so it was a real bummer. She kept finding little toys, asking if she could buy them, and then sadly remembering her unfortunate situation. But, all things considered, she handled everything rather well. Blake and I even commented on her maturity as we drove home.
That’s why it was ironic later in the evening when I saw her playing with a tiny stuffed cat. I didn’t recognize the toy—and asked her about it. She claimed she had found it in one of the toy bins in her bedroom… “isn’t it sweet, mom? I can’t believe I just found it!” Hmmm….I smelled a rat. When I questioned Evelyn further, she broke down in tears and told me the sad tale of how she had stolen this cat from target because, in her words, “ you never let me pick out any toys—not even little ones!”
Wow. One of those critical parenting moments when you realize you need to think quick and say/do something that will have a lasting impression! We discussed stealing. We discussed dishonesty. We discussed the feelings that accompany wrong doing. I told her about the first time I ever told a lie and how I felt inside. (I’ve never stolen anything, so I didn’t have any story to tell in that department.) But it was a very good conversation. She was genuinely sorry.
Evelyn and I came up with an action plan. She would write Target a letter and work all week to earn the money to pay back the $4 she had stolen in the form of her tiny cat. Then we would meet with the manager and return the cat. She had only one passionate request—that I please not tell her Daddy. She was just so embarrassed and afraid of what he would think.
The next day Blake took Evelyn and Dane to church while I stayed home with Grant (still recovering from his hospital stay.) When they returned home, she pulled out this letter I’ve posted. A picture of herself, handing Target a bouquet of flowers. Great news! This letter she wrote, free of any parental nagging, demonstrated that she really was remorseful and very motivated to follow through with our plan.
After she went to bed, I said to Blake… well, I guess she told you about what happened at Target—assuming she had asked him at church how to spell “stealing,” and “target”. But no… she had been very sly in her efforts. After asking Blake how to spell out her apologetic letter, she said to him, “oh daddy—did you think this was a real letter? It’s not, I’m just being very silly right now… this isn’t true at all.” She’s a pretty good actress. I thought it was sweet that she was so intent on making sure Blake didn’t know about her little transgression. She’s definitely a Daddy’s girl and a very sensitive little being.
But…. I had to think. Guess our conversation about dishonesty did not set in. Otherwise, she would have told Blake the truth about her incident. Back to the drawing board! I’ve come to realize that parenting is a lot more difficult than I could have ever imagined. Such a responsibility and so much to think about especially as they grow older. Dirty diapers and sleep deprivation I can handle for sure in comparison to these new more sophisticated problems that Evelyn presents me with on a constant basis. And to think… she’s only five! Can’t begin to imagine what I have in store for me.
