Closing the chapter on November, I can finally say that I’m beginning to feel like myself again. And honestly, that isn’t even the whole truth. I’m not returning to who I was; I’m becoming someone new. Someone more awake, more present, and more aware of who I am and what my purpose is.
As I look back on the month, I can’t write about the small and simple happenings without acknowledging the larger reality: I am overwhelmingly grateful for the blessings God has poured into my life while I’ve walked through this heartbreaking seasons. Over these past three months, I’ve felt closer to His Spirit and more attuned to His love than ever before. I’ve felt His goodness through family, friends, books, and scripture. It has all felt like a quiet miracle.
I know there will be more heartache ahead and more dips in my healing. But for now, I feel peace. I feel joy. And in the middle of grief, that feels like its own blessing. I am so deeply grateful.
Some of the sweetest highlights of the month came from having Evelyn home for Thanksgiving break—and getting to celebrate her birthday while she was here. She picked a simple but perfect night out: Chick-fil-A and a movie. We played games over dinner, laughed a ton, and sang “Happy Birthday” loud enough for the whole place to hear. Since she’s deep in her Wicked era, I decorated her room with that theme in mind, which was such a fun way to welcome her home.
Having Ev here this week has honestly been a joy. She continues to amaze me with her dedication to nursing school, her openness to learning, and her constant desire to become her best self. She is responsible, disciplined, and such an example to me in every way. We laughed so much this week, and I’m overwhelmingly grateful for the incredible daughter she is.
Another highlight was Thanksgiving with Grandma. We had planned to go on a hike—and even told her all about it—but at the last minute we decided to surprise her with tickets to one of her favorite movies, the new Zootopia sequel. We drove all the way to the theater pretending we were still headed toward a trailhead, and it was such a joy to see her reaction when she realized the real plan. We loved the movie, and it felt good to do something completely different from our usual Thanksgiving traditions.
With it being our first Thanksgiving without Grandpa, we knew we needed to shift things a bit. Dinner was absolutely delicious—Grandma’s creamed corn, a perfect turkey from Bristol Farms, Dane testing out a new mashed-potatoes recipe, gourmet mac and cheese, and Grant’s chocolate Oreo ice-cream cake for dessert. We played games, told stories, and laughed. Even though the day felt different without Grandpa, Blake, and Stacy, it was still full of love and something uniquely special.
Dane stays incredibly busy with school. He has a 97% or higher in all five of his classes and never misses an assignment. He’s doing his best to manage life while navigating the lows that come with his diagnosis, and that is no small task. I’m still learning how to support him without adding my own worries onto his shoulders, but I’m endlessly grateful for who he is. He is kind, helpful, thoughtful, and such a steady, grounding presence in our family. I hate that his path feels more complicated than it should, but I trust that he’ll persevere and find his way in time.
Grant wrapped up his club soccer season this past weekend and starts varsity soccer at Poway High next week—something we’re all excited for. Even though surfing and fishing have stolen the spotlight lately, soccer is still a true passion, and he’s genuinely talented. I love watching him lead and encourage his teammates; he’s a good player, but an even better teammate. Grant also got his driver’s license this month, and he is absolutely thrilled. I do miss our drives together, but I’m so proud of his independence and how much he’s grown. He’s been stepping up in maturity—babysitting Sophie, helping around the house, cooking, and yes… even entering the world of dating. He’s sparked a sweet little relationship with one of the Poway High dancers, and it’s been adorable to watch unfold.
Anna is still… well, 13. It’s a rough age. It’s the age where I can apparently annoy her simply by breathing, and that part is brutal. But I remind myself it won’t last forever—one day soon she’ll be kind to me again. Middle school is hard, and it takes a toll. But I adore this girl, attitude and all. She’s growing like crazy—almost as tall as Evelyn and me. At any given moment you’ll find her dancing a TikTok routine, laughing with friends, filming a vlog she has no intention of posting, and almost always holding a Starbucks iced chai.
This month she put together the cutest birthday basketball gift for her “boyfriend” Justin… only to break up with him five days later. She also found a recipe for Greek chicken bowls and spent hours perfecting every detail—from the chicken marinade to the thinly sliced cucumbers. And at church, she continues to be the hero of every small child; she’d honestly rather hang out with the little ones than peers her own age. I love this girl—her hype, her humor, her energy, and her big-hearted personality.
As for me, I’ve finally stopped socially isolating and feel like part of the human race again. In fact, I hosted a BBQ with the Jorgenson clan during Thanksgiving week—and it felt really good. I hadn’t done something like that in a long time. I also helped throw a Wicked-themed birthday party for one of my best friends, Sameen. We played games, ate soup, and laughed all night. I even told a few jokes, and every time a little spark of my old self slipped out, my friends cheered, “She’s baaaaack!” It meant more than they probably realized; it felt like seeing myself return.
We celebrated Elizabeth Judd’s birthday downtown as a group, and again on Veterans Day at Balboa Park. After a long day exploring the museums, we made a spontaneous decision to go to Spaghetti Factory—and it ended up being such a perfect, cozy ending to the day. I also loved our Friendsgiving with my Poway crew. They continue to be the biggest support system for me, and I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve them.
And kindness keeps showing up on my doorstep—literally. Friends in my neighborhood still drop off cookies, breads, flowers and gift baskets, and it’s just… unbelievably thoughtful. I’m so grateful for my community.
Speaking of community, this has also been such an incredible month of youth activities that has brought joy to both me and my kids. We toured a Navy ship downtown, decorated a homeless shelter for Christmas, and put on a ward talent show. My ward—especially our youth—continue to be a very bright part of my life. They truly are the best.
Now… on to the Christmas season. It can feel like a lot—especially when your family isn’t intact. I’m praying for strength and peace to let go of the things I may not be able to do this year, and somehow make space for what truly matters. My hope is to focus on the moments that let my family feel His steady, comforting presence.
